life.

ffs.

i spent all morning trying to get my 7”2’ center (who is averaging 30/11/5 when i’m not intentionally fouling out to get thru games faster) traded to the phoenix suns because i believe I AM THE MISSING LINK.  let’s take a brief tour of my storied career so far.

1: drafted #17 (iirc) to the ny knicks.  played well even though lin is terrible in nba2k12.  fought my way into a starting position and essentially replaced tyson chandler.  then woodson (or as i nickname him: hotdog coach, since he looks like a fat hotdog in the game) started subbing me as a PF and doing really odd things like playing baron davis for 38 mins.  anyways, after we fought for an 8th seed playoff spot (lolol) and got dominated by the bulls (i swear to god derrick rose is unstoppable in this game, unless he’s on your team) i demanded a trade (lol) to the suns/clippers/or the heat.

2: the clippers picked me up and i replaced deandre jordan in the starting lineup.  i played a few serious games until i realized that i was fighting with blake griffin for star power.  plus, he was hogging all my fucking rebounds.  keep in mind, in the off season chris paul left the clippers and del negro stayed (i wish that nba2k12 let you view rosters of teams in the off season or before you trade ‘cause i wouldn’t have gone w/o paul).  i hope this isn’t foreshadowing for the real clippers.  thinking that my character was good enough to at least replace robin lopez (come on, how hard could this be??) i requested a trade to the suns as my only option and left slots 2 and 3 empty.  this was a poor decision.

3:  apparently the suns are not willing to part with RoLo or channing frye or w/e.  i got traded to the denver nuggets.  now, this was interesting to me because this was a pretty well built team that had a legit need for my center but being the alpha dog that i am, i requested a trade right away to the suns/celtics/heat.

4: this was also a bad decision.  i only requested to the celtics thinking that the suns would pick me up and i just randomly picked a team.  well, i hate the celtics.  needless to say i tanked a few more games so that i could request another trade.  meanwhile being the biggest possible in my post game interviews.  it got so bad that players were refusing to pass me the ball on the court, haha.  i selected my team options for a trade and sent it off.  suns/heat (i figure i’d like to win a ring before my contract expires)/magic (anticipating that orlando would say no).

5: THE BULLS.  the fucking bulls traded for me and swapped noah straight up (wtf were they thinking??).  seeing as how i’ve played 2 seasons with the bulls with a different center (that was built like a 400lb bus) i’m very familiar with how they operate.  this was again a bad decision.  derrick rose (i swear i’m not making this up) refuses to like me and doesn’t give me the ball.  consequently my guy is left screaming for the ball just to get touches.  tbh, idk why they don’t just give it to me every time since i’m shooting like 75% accuracy.  ANYWAYS.  this is the story all about how my life got flipped, turned upside down.  

so there you have it.  5 teams in 1 1/2 seasons.  i think i still have about a month before the trade deadline so now i’m trying to get my guy skilled up enough to make a good trade to the suns.  if not i’ll just screw the bulls over and level up anyway. 

i decided to start making gifs of nba games.  it won’t be specific to the phoenix suns and i’m totally open to requests of certain plays/moments.  

http://thatsnashty.tumblr.com/ 

i need a job.  or my guitar. 

UNGGHH.